Lost in translation.

It's hard to know where to start, so it might as well be the beginning. Let's turn to page 23, step 50... and practice "self-introduction" in Kannada. It's painfully mundane to learn how to introduce oneself in most languages. In Kannada, it's just painfully hilarious....

(clearing my throat)
My name is Alefia Merchant.
I am an Indian and I live in Bangalore.
I have just completed 31 years.
I am a.....VIRGIN?!

While undoubtedly an enormous asset to the marriage-prone and commitment-inclined in this end of the Indian peninsula, is it necessarily the fourth detail one must divulge, I thought? According to Learn Kannada in 30 Days, the answer is a resounding YES. We don't have time to waste. After all, we've only got ourselves 30 days. Virgin today, married tomorrow.

This caused some serious initial eyebrow raising until... I realized it was nothing but a fortuitous mistranslation; unfortunately, yes, the reality is much less entertaining. 'Girl' in Kannada is 'kanya' which also means 'virgin'. I guess, once upon a time, they likely were. Now, we have condoms and women's lib.